10 Therapist-Approved Ways To Build Self-Esteem & Confidence

Self-esteem and confidence are keys to a happy, healthy life but are often hard to achieve. If you struggle with self-confidence and self-love, we’re here to tell you that you’re not alone and help you take the first steps on your journey.

Hero Journey Club hosts therapist-led support groups within your favorite video games. Why? Because we believe in the power of community to help us all heal and grow.

Below, we’ll talk about the role communities like HJC play in confidence and self-esteem, as well as many more therapist-approved ways to stop negative thoughts and move forward in life with a renewed view of yourself. 

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is a term that refers to your overall image of yourself and how compassionate, caring, and approving you are of yourself. Self-esteem issues can come in multiple forms; too low can leave you feeling worthless and discouraged, while overly high self-esteem can lead to ego issues and problematic behavior. 

The goal is healthy self-esteem, which looks like kindness and compassion toward yourself while accepting that you’re not perfect — and don’t need to be.

How Can Low Self-Esteem Impact Your Life?

If you struggle with negative thinking about yourself, you can expect the effects to bleed over into multiple aspects of your life. Your personal and professional life is often affected by your sense of self:

Personal Life

• Relationship Challenges: Difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships due to mistrust or a feeling of unworthiness.
• Social Withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions which can lead to isolation and loneliness.
• Increased Anxiety and Depression: Higher susceptibility to mental health issues as negative self-perception can lead to persistent sadness and anxiety.
• Difficulty Handling Stress: Poor self-esteem can reduce resilience against daily stresses, making small issues seem insurmountable.
• Problematic Decision Making: Indecisiveness or making poor choices because of a lack of confidence in one’s judgment.
• Vulnerability to Addiction: Higher risk of developing unhealthy habits or addictions as a way to cope with feelings of low self-worth.

Professional Life

• Career Stagnation: Hesitation to pursue new opportunities or promotions due to fear of failure or self-doubt.
• Poor Performance: Self-doubt can lead to decreased productivity and avoidance of responsibilities.
• Lack of Initiative: Less likely to contribute ideas or take the lead on projects due to fear of criticism or failure.
• Difficulty With Feedback: Sensitivity to criticism, potentially perceiving neutral or constructive feedback as personal attacks.
• Strained Work Relationships: Challenges in teamwork and communication, possibly due to misinterpreting colleagues’ behaviors based on one’s own insecurities.
• Increased Job Dissatisfaction: Feelings of unfulfillment or frustration at work, often believing one's efforts are not good enough or undervalued.

How Can We Assess Our Self-Esteem?

The best way to assess your self-esteem is by using some key markers. Refer to the list below as a guide:

Indicators of Healthy Self-Esteem

• Confidence in Abilities: Sureness about one's skills and capacity to handle life’s challenges, but not so much that you can’t tolerate disagreement or different points of view.
• Positive Outlook: Generally optimistic about life and future prospects, while not believing that others ‘owe’ providing this to you.
• Ease in Relationships: Comfortable and secure in relationships, without taking others for granted, and able to form healthy, supportive connections.
• Resilience: Ability to bounce back from setbacks without excessive self-criticism.
• Self-Respect: Treating oneself with respect and expecting the same from others.
• Openness to Learning: Willingness to learn and grow from experiences without fearing failure.

Indicators of Low Self-Esteem

• Self-Doubt: Constantly questioning one’s abilities, decisions, and worth.
• Negative Self-Talk: Frequent criticism of oneself, often irrational and harsh.
• Fear of Failure: Avoiding challenges due to fear of failing.
• People-Pleasing: Going out of one’s way to help others at the expense of one’s own needs.
• Feeling Unworthy: Persistent feelings of not being good enough, regardless of achievements.
• Sensitivity to Criticism: Overreacting to criticism or becoming overly defensive.

10 Ways To Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

Now that you know how to identify low self-esteem, let’s explore some of the best ways to build self-esteem and confidence using practices recommended by therapists.

1. Practicing Self-Awareness

Getting good at reflecting on your thoughts and feelings is one of the best ways to transform your view of yourself. When you’re self-aware, you can stop negative thoughts in their tracks and practice positive self-talk. 

In addition, self-awareness helps you recognize areas of your life where self-improvement might be helpful. By recognizing your inner critic and being aware of your behavior, you can slowly start to change how you feel and act for the better.

2. Positive Affirmations

Confident people often practice positivity in their daily lives, which can transform your mental well-being and give you a healthier view of yourself. One of the best ways to practice this is by harnessing your inner voice or saying positive and encouraging things to yourself out loud. 

Use affirmations to foster self-acceptance by simply saying, “I accept myself,” or, “I love myself.” If you want, you can also affirm a specific list of things about yourself. For example, you can use affirmations to highlight positive things you appreciate about yourself, such as your creativity, kindness, or other traits. Affirmations generally don’t work when you try to ‘trick’ yourself, so you want to find things you do believe and bring attention to those. 

3. Setting and Achieving Goals

Sticking to goals, even when it pushes you out of your comfort zone, is one of the best ways to build your confidence and have a more positive view of yourself. When you achieve a goal, the sense of accomplishment you feel can help you become more confident and help you believe in yourself the next time you have a goal you want to reach. 

While it can be hard to stay focused and motivated when life gets stressful, stick to your goals — you’ll be rewarded with a sense of self-efficacy that makes the hard work worth it.

4. Maintaining Physical Health

Staying physically healthy can have a deep effect on the way you see yourself. If you look in the mirror and don’t feel satisfied with what you see, a balance of self-compassion and prioritizing your health can help. 

You don’t have to be perfect, but it’s worth it to work toward a point of health that you feel proud of. It’s not just about your looks, either — it’s about your ability to live a happy, healthy life and do what you love for as long as possible. A focus on your image and comparing it to the images of others is the opposite of finding self-esteem. 

5. Surrounding Yourself With Positive Influences

The people you spend your time with will profoundly change how you view yourself and the world around you. If your current loved ones bring you down, insult you, and make you feel ashamed to be you, it’s time to find new friends. 

Look for people you trust, respect, and admire, and pursue friendship with them. By surrounding yourself with more accepting, growth-oriented, and positive people, you’ll start to feel more comfortable in your own skin.

6. Seeking Therapy

Getting help from a licensed therapist or other health professional can change your life. It’s one of the best ways to face self-esteem and confidence issues, as you’ve got a source of support by your side to help you grow. 

Your therapist can help you get to the root cause of your low self-esteem and provide practical tools to keep you on track toward a more confident life. 

Through therapy, you can learn to confront hidden negative thought patterns and replace them with more constructive ways of thinking and acting. Research shows that therapy is an effective treatment for anxiety, depression, and more. 

7. Self-Compassion

Being kind and compassionate to yourself will help you feel more connected with the real you. It’s hard at first, but practicing self-compassion starts with forgiving yourself for the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Those mistakes don’t define you, and they can be valuable parts of your story once you learn to let go of the weight they put on your shoulders.

8. Mindfulness and Meditation

Slowing down and just being is tough in an overstimulating world, but if you can learn to practice mindfulness and meditation, you can expect to feel more grounded and connected with yourself. Use mindfulness or meditation practices to assess your negative thoughts and feelings, letting them pass by as you embrace the present moment and practice self-acceptance.

9. Learning and Skill Development

Learning something new can change the way that you view yourself and give you a major boost of confidence. You’re capable of far more than you think, and taking the time to learn a new skill is an investment in yourself that you won’t regret making.

10. Gratitude Practices

One of the best ways to love yourself well is to practice gratitude. If you reflect on your life and feel like there’s nothing to be grateful for, it’s time for a perspective change. 

Try thinking of everything in your life that makes you happy and practice being thankful for the happiness you feel. As a result of this practice, you might start to feel much more fortunate to be you.

How Can Hero Journey Club Support Your Self-Esteem Journey? 

Hero Journey Club’s weekly online support groups offer a therapist-facilitated community within your favorite video games. By participating in a group, you get access to a new group of friends, a helpful guide in the form of your therapist group leader, and a relaxing outlet for your emotions. 

You can use your time in a weekly meeting to process how you feel and get encouragement on your journey towards healthy self-esteem and confidence. Sign up for Hero Journey Club today by choosing a group that’s the right fit for you. We’ll make sure to connect you with like-minded people within a game environment that you enjoy.

Enjoy the Journey of Building Confidence and Self-Esteem 

Self-esteem and confidence can make life infinitely more fulfilling. When you learn to accept yourself, respect yourself, and value yourself, you can expect to enjoy life more than ever. 

Use the practices listed above to start your journey towards good self-esteem, and consider joining Hero Journey Club for additional support as you grow. With sessions in therapeutic games like Minecraft, Stardew Valley, and Animal Crossing, there’s a positive and encouraging place waiting for you.

Sources:

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

The Power of Surrounding Yourself with People Who Are Doing Better Than You | Linkedin

Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders: an update on the empirical evidence | PMC

Effects of gratitude intervention on mental health and well‐being: A systematic review | PMC