10 Effective Self-Soothing Techniques for Kids and Teens

In today’s fast-paced world, kids and teens are often faced with many different stressors — whether it’s academic pressure, social challenges, or personal struggles. 

Learning to self-soothe is a key life skill that helps kids and adolescents regulate their emotions, manage stress, and cope with anxiety or frustration. Self-soothing techniques help them regain a sense of calm and control, fostering resilience and emotional well-being.

In this post, we’ll explore 10 effective self-soothing techniques that kids and teens can use to manage their emotions in a healthy and productive way. These strategies are designed to be practical, easy to implement, and suitable for many situations, from school to home life.

1. Deep Breathing: Finding Calm Through Breath Control

Deep breathing is one of the simplest and most accessible self-soothing techniques for kids and teens. By focusing on slow, controlled breaths, children can reduce stress, lower their heart rate, and relax their minds and bodies.

When a person is stressed, their breathing tends to become shallow and rapid. Deep breathing helps counteract this by activating the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation. This shift from shallow to deep breathing encourages a sense of calm and helps release tension.

Encourage your child or teen to sit in a comfortable position, close their eyes, and take a deep breath through their nose for a count of four. They should hold their breath for a count of four, then slowly exhale through their mouth for another count of four. 

Repeat this process several times until they feel more relaxed. This technique is especially useful before tests, during stressful situations, or when emotions are running high.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Releasing Tension Through the Body

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a coping skill that involves tensing and slowly relaxing different muscle groups in the body. This grounding technique helps kids and teens become more aware of physical tension and provides a method for developing distress tolerance.

PMR works by creating an intentional contrast between muscle tension and relaxation. By focusing on different parts of the body, children can learn to recognize and reduce physical stress.

Guide your child or teen through a relaxation session by having them start with their toes. Instruct them to tense the muscles in their toes for a count of five, then release. Move up the body, tensing and relaxing the muscles in the legs, stomach, arms, and face. By the end of the session, you should feel more physically relaxed, which can improve your mental health.

3. Mindfulness Meditation: Staying Grounded in the Present Moment

Mindfulness is the practice of staying present and fully engaged in the current moment. For kids and teens, mindfulness meditation can be a powerful way to manage stress and anxiety, helping them focus on their thoughts and feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.

Mindfulness encourages kids to focus on their breath, body sensations, or surroundings, allowing them to take a step back from overwhelming emotions. It promotes self-awareness and self-regulation and helps children observe their thoughts without judgment.

Begin by guiding your child or teen to sit comfortably with their eyes closed. Have them focus on their breathing or the sensations they feel in their body. If their mind wanders, gently encourage them to bring their attention back to their breath. A few minutes of mindful breathing each day can help build emotional resilience and decrease anxiety over time.

4. Visualization: Creating a Safe Mental Space

Visualization is a powerful self-soothing behavior that involves using the imagination to create a calming and peaceful mental image. For kids and teens, visualizing their favorite place, a relaxing situation, or the face of a loved one can provide an immediate sense of comfort and reduce stress.

When children visualize a peaceful scene, their brain reacts as if they are actually in that place, helping to reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.

Ask your child to close their eyes and imagine a place where they feel safe and happy. It could be a beach, a forest, or their favorite cozy spot at home. Encourage them to engage their senses by asking questions like, “What do you see, hear, and feel in this place?” 

This mental escape helps them focus on something positive, shifting their attention away from stressful thoughts or emotions.

5. Journaling: Expressing Emotions on Paper

Writing down thoughts and feelings can be a highly effective way for kids and teens to process their emotions during a stressful period of time. Journaling provides a safe space for self-expression, allowing them to release pent-up feelings and gain clarity on their emotions.

Journaling helps children organize their thoughts and reflect on their feelings. By putting their emotions into words, they can better understand what’s causing their stress and how they can work through it.

Encourage your child or teen to set aside a few minutes each day to write about their feelings. They don’t have to worry about grammar or structure — just getting their thoughts on paper is the goal. You can also provide younger children with ready-made worksheets to walk them through the process. 

You can also suggest specific prompts, like “What made you feel stressed today?” or “What’s something you’re grateful for?” Regular journaling can help them process emotions in a healthy and reflective way.

6. Listening to Music: Finding Comfort in Sound

Music can evoke powerful emotions and calm the mind. For many kids and teens, listening to their favorite songs can be a quick and easy way to self-soothe during stressful times. Whether it’s calming classical music, upbeat pop, or a favorite playlist, music can provide an emotional outlet.

Music can influence mood by stimulating the brain's reward centers, promoting feelings of happiness, calm, or relaxation. Slow-tempo music, in particular, can lower heart rate and reduce anxiety.

Help your child or teen create a playlist of their favorite soothing songs. Encourage them to listen to this playlist whenever they feel stressed or overwhelmed. 

For some, playing an instrument or singing along to their favorite tunes can also be an excellent way to express emotions and self-soothe. There are also meditation podcasts that can walk you through self-soothing exercises with sound. If music is too distracting, try white noise.

7. Sensory Play: Engaging the Senses for Relaxation

Engaging the senses is a practical way for kids, especially younger children, to calm down and focus on something other than their stress. Sensory play can involve a variety of activities, such as playing with textured objects, sand, slime, or kinetic sand.

Sensory activities stimulate the brain in a way that can help kids focus on the present moment and relax. By engaging their senses, children can become more grounded and less focused on what’s causing them emotional distress.

Provide your child with materials like playdough, slime, or a sensory bin filled with rice or beans. Encourage them to explore the textures and sensations as a way to calm their mind and body. These activities are especially helpful for kids who may struggle with anxiety or sensory processing issues.

8. Exercise and Movement: Releasing Tension Through Physical Activity

Physical movement is one of the most effective ways to release built-up tension and stress. For kids and teens, exercise can serve as a physical and emotional outlet, helping burn off nervous energy and improve mood.

Exercise releases endorphins, the brain’s “feel-good” chemicals, which help reduce stress and improve mood. Physical activity also provides a distraction from negative thoughts and emotions, allowing kids and teens to focus on their bodies and the present moment.

Encourage your child or teen to find a form of physical activity they enjoy, whether going for a run, dancing, or practicing yoga. Even a short walk outside can help them clear their mind and feel more grounded. For younger kids, activities like jumping jacks, hopping on a trampoline, or dancing to upbeat music can be fun ways to get moving and relieve stress.

9. Hugging a Comfort Object: Finding Solace in Something Familiar

For younger children, having a comfort object like a favorite stuffed animal, weighted blanket, stress ball, or toy can provide a sense of security and calm. These objects can help kids feel grounded and safe, especially during times of stress or uncertainty.

Comfort objects provide a tangible source of security and emotional support. The familiar smell or texture of a favorite blanket or stuffed animal can help children self-soothe and reduce anxiety.

If your child has a favorite comfort object, encourage them to hold onto it when they’re feeling upset or stressed. This can serve as a physical reminder of safety and security, helping them regain a sense of calm. 

While older teens may not use comfort objects in the same way, they may find comfort in wearing a favorite hoodie or wrapping themselves in a soft blanket during stressful moments.

10. Positive Self-Talk: Replacing Negative Thoughts with Affirmations

Self-talk plays a huge role in how kids and teens manage stress and process their emotions. Teaching them to replace negative, defeatist, or self-critical thoughts with positive affirmations can help boost their self-esteem and reduce anxiety.

Positive self-talk helps children shift their focus from negative, overwhelming thoughts to more encouraging and supportive statements. This technique empowers them to take control of their emotions and approach challenges with a positive mindset.

Help your child or teen come up with a list of positive affirmations they can say to themselves when they’re feeling stressed or anxious. For example, they might say, “I can handle this,” or “I’m doing the best I can,” or “With practice and time, this will become easier.” 

Encourage them to repeat these affirmations whenever they notice negative thoughts creeping in. Over time, this practice can help them build a more positive inner dialogue and feel more confident in their ability to handle difficult emotions.

Conclusion

Teaching kids and teens effective self-soothing techniques is essential for helping them manage stress, anxiety, and difficult emotions in a healthy way. By equipping them with these tools, we empower them to take control of their emotional well-being and build resilience. 

Whether it’s through deep breathing, exercise, or engaging in sensory play, each technique offers a practical way for children and adolescents to cope with challenges and regain a sense of calm.

Encouraging regular practice of these self-soothing strategies fosters emotional intelligence, helping kids and teens develop lifelong skills that will serve them well into adulthood. Through this self-care, we create a foundation for healthier emotional responses and stronger mental well-being as they navigate the complexities of growing up.

Joining a support group like Hero Journey Club can also provide kids and teens with a sense of community and belonging as they practice these skills. Our groups focus on emotional development and can offer additional support and resources while also giving kids a healthy outlet through gaming. 

Sources:

Progressive Muscle Relaxation | wav.gov.au

Relaxation techniques: Breath control helps quell errant stress response | Harvard Health

Self-Soothing in Children and Adolescents | Child Development Clinic

Parasympathetic Nervous System (PSNS): What It Is & Function | Cleveland Clinic