10 Conversation Starters for Teens and How To Improve Social Skills

Knowing how to confidently carry on a conversation is like having a superpower. This skill can instantly help you be a good friend, a good sibling, a good student, and, eventually, a good employee once you start your career. 

Below, we’ll take a look at some of the best conversation starters to give you some inspiration for real-life communication.

What Are Social Skills?

Social skills are the abilities that you use every day when you interact with other people. These skills include communication, listening, picking up on social cues (the subtle things people do to let you know what they think and how they feel), and more. 

Knowing a great conversation starter is almost like a mini social skill — it’s a tool to keep in your back pocket when you’re not sure how to break the ice with someone. All social skills matter, but knowing how to speak and listen well will serve you for the rest of your life. 

Plus, when you can start a conversation with just about anyone, it’s a huge boost for your confidence, making you feel more capable and comfortable at school, at home, and everywhere else.

What Makes a Good Conversation Starter?

Asking good questions is a valuable skill, but it’s not always easy to tell what a good question looks like at first. What should you ask someone when you first start talking to them? 

Let’s look at the qualities of a good conversation starter:

Lighthearted

You can talk about anything with your best friend — funny things, serious things, and everything in between. However, when you’re just getting to know someone, it’s better to keep the conversation light. As you get closer to a new friend, you can begin to open up more about the deeper parts of yourself, but it’s worth waiting until you know them well to be vulnerable.

Thought-Provoking

Use a conversation starter to make someone think. That way, you’ll be helping them get to know themselves as you get to know them. Your questions should be thoughtful, not shallow (just focusing on what’s on the surface, not what’s underneath). 

There’s more to every person than meets the eye, and asking thoughtful and thought-provoking questions helps you dig a little deeper and see a bit of who a person really is.

Open-Ended Questions

A question like, “How are you? Has a quick, simple, and kind of boring answer. “Good,” someone might say back, or “Okay, I guess.” That’s not a great conversation starter because while it looks like an open-ended question, people don’t usually respond to it like one. . 

So, what is an open-ended question? These are questions you can’t answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” They leave room for thoughtful reflection and less of a cookie-cutter response from the person you’re asking. 

Open-ended questions help you get to know people better and give them the opportunity to share their thoughts with you. After you ask, practice active listening — everyone wants to feel acknowledged and heard when you talk to them. 

Follow-Up Questions

Be ready to follow up your initial question with another one to keep the conversation going. Don’t rush into your follow-up question, though. 

Patience is key for a thoughtful, meaningful conversation. If the person you’re talking to doesn’t seem interested or engaged, don’t give up! Give them some time to think and respond, listening intently to let them know you’re invested in what they have to say.

What Are the Best Conversation Starters for Teens?

These are some of our favorite ways to start a conversation with just about anyone. If you’re ever at a loss for words while talking to a new friend, look to this list for some extra support!

1. Would You Rather

Have you ever played “Would You Rather?” It’s a fun icebreaker that can help you connect with multiple people at once. Come up with a question like, “Would you rather go scuba diving or skydiving?” and get to know people better based on their responses. If you’re in a group, try to give everyone the opportunity to ask and answer questions. 

2. Current Events and Trends

Everyone has an opinion — and one of the best ways to get to know someone better is by asking them to share their thoughts. Current events can sometimes be sensitive topics, so it’s important not to get too into subjects that might hurt or offend someone. 

To keep things light, ask about a movie or video game that came out recently or a recent online trend rather than about politics, religion, and other subjects that people tend to disagree intensely on. Keep the conversation peaceful if you can!

3. Dream Job

If you want to get to know someone a bit better, make sure you ask them what they want to do for a living. Just like you have a dream job, anyone you meet has one, too. Before you start talking about yours, ask what your new friend’s ideal career is. Follow up with more questions to keep the conversation going. 

4. Free Time

You can learn a lot about someone by finding out what they do with their free time. You might be surprised by how interesting other people’s hobbies are. 

Maybe your new friend likes rock climbing, skateboarding, or playing Fortnite with their younger brother. Once you know what their hobbies are, you can find ways to connect — and maybe even spend some time together doing fun new things you’ve never tried before.

5. Earliest Memory

When we humans talk to each other, we like to reflect on the past. Sometimes, we go as far back as the very beginning of life. If you’re talking with someone about growing up and childhood, think about asking them what their earliest memory was. Their response might surprise you, and it can give you lots of insight into what their life was like before you met them.

6. Perfect Day

Ask someone what their perfect day is to find out what makes them the happiest. If you’re trying to become better friends with the person you’re talking to, one of the best ways to connect with them is to try and make their perfect day a reality the next time you hang out!

7. High School

If you’re a teenager, you’re probably in high school or about to head into your freshman year. There’s a lot to talk about either way! You can connect with new friends by asking them how their high school experience has been — or what they think it’s going to be like. See if you can find out more by asking more specific questions.

8. Family

Not everyone wants to talk about their family life, but if they do, it’s a fantastic way to keep the conversation going and get to know someone better than ever. Asking how many siblings someone has, what their parents do for work, and whether they want to move out after they graduate can give you insight into who they are on a deeper level. 

Make sure to be respectful if someone doesn’t want to touch on this topic, too; they may not be ready to go into detail about their family just yet.

9. Friends

If you want to be friends with someone, make sure you express interest in their other friends! Asking questions about the most important relationships in a person’s life helps you find out more about them and gives you a deeper sense of how they love to spend their time. You can learn a lot about someone based on how they talk about their friends.

10. Languages

Do you speak another language? If so, use it as a conversation starter! You can make an instant connection with someone by bonding over your shared love of speaking Spanish, French, German, Japanese, or another language. Even if you’re not multilingual, you can learn something new by asking about another person’s ability to speak other languages.

How Can I Improve My Social Skills as a Teen?

If you’re the parent or guardian of a teenager and want to help them develop their social skills, we’re here to help. Read below to find out how to support your teen in their social development and help them confidently make new friends.

Hero Journey Club

Hero Journey Club offers teens a one-of-a-kind experience through therapeutic gaming, relationship building, and life skills development. HJC’s teen support groups connect teens with each other in a virtual environment, and our team of licensed therapists supports our members as they grow. 

It’s a unique and powerful way to support your teen’s development of their social skills and help them build long-lasting relationships with other kids.

Extracurricular Activities

One of the best ways to help your teen develop their social skills is getting them involved with extracurricular activities through school and your community. Sports, hobby groups, clubs, and more can connect your teen with like-minded peers and give them a built-in activity to bond.

Jobs and Internships

If your teen is old enough for a part-time job or internship, their work can be a valuable source of long-lasting relationships, mentorships, and networking opportunities. Paid or unpaid work can also help your teen prepare for college and life after school.

Volunteering

Learning to serve others is one of the best ways for your teen to build their social skills, become more compassionate and empathetic, and develop a strong work ethic. Serving meals to houseless folks in your area, doing yard work for an elderly neighbor, or any other form of volunteering can be a life-changing experience with plenty of valuable lessons to teach your teen.

Mental Health Support

No teen should be ashamed of getting help and support from a therapist. A mental health professional who specializes in adolescent work can give your teenager helpful insight and practical advice to make them more confident and ready to build friendships with their peers.

Small Talk for Big Skills

Even small talk can make a big difference in your life by helping you get to know other people and connect with the world around you. While it might just seem like casual conversation, it’s a vital part of your journey through life and can help you build long-lasting relationships with new friends. 

Sources

Social Skills | Kid Sense Child Development 

Asking for help with mental health, drugs, alcohol | SAMHSA

Enhancing the Emotional and Social Skills of the Youth to Promote their Wellbeing and Positive Development: A Systematic Review of Universal School-based Randomized Controlled Trials | NCBI

A critical period for second language acquisition: Evidence from 2/3 million English speakers | NCBI