8 Self-Control Activities for Kids and How To Talk About It

Some kids can wait patiently for their turn. Others hear "just a minute" and immediately start climbing the furniture like it's an Olympic event. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Self-control is one of those skills that doesn’t come pre-installed — it’s learned through experience, practice, and a whole lot of trial and error.

And the good news? Learning self-control doesn’t have to be a battle of wills. It’s not about forcing kids to sit still or bottle up big feelings. It’s about giving them the right tools to navigate emotions, make thoughtful choices, and feel more in control of their world.

At Hero Journey Club, we believe kids learn best when they’re engaged, supported, and having fun. Whether it’s through digital play, movement, or simple everyday interactions, self-control can be built in ways that actually stick. And yes, even video games can play a part in this — when they’re the right kind.

Interested in discovering more? We’ve got you covered. Read on as we break down some of the best self-control activities for kids and how you can talk about them in a way that actually makes sense.

Why Is Self-Control Important?

Before we dive into the activities, you might be wondering — how big of a deal is self-control? We get it — kids are kids. They’re supposed to be energetic, excited, and full of big emotions. But self-control isn’t about taking any of that away. It’s about helping them recognize their emotions before those emotions take over.

For kids, self-control plays a huge role in everyday life. It helps them:

• Manage emotions when things don’t go their way.
• Pause before reacting, whether that means thinking before speaking or stopping themselves from grabbing something they really want.
• Navigate social situations, like taking turns, sharing, and working through disagreements.
• Make decisions that set them up for success in school, at home, and in friendships.

What Are Some Signs a Child Might Struggle With Self-Control?

Not every kid has an immediate reaction to big feelings, but for some, impulse control can feel like an uphill battle. If your child tends to react before thinking, you might notice them blurting out answers before the question is even finished, grabbing things without asking, or cutting into conversations because the thought in their head needs to come out right now. 

And waiting their turn? Whether it’s in a game, a conversation, or a long line, the patience just isn’t there. When frustration hits, emotions can take over fast — tears, yelling, stomping off — before they have a chance to work through what’s really going on.

Following multi-step instructions can also be tricky. A simple request like “Put your shoes by the door, then wash your hands” might start fine, but by the time they get halfway through, the second step is already forgotten. 

Transitions can be another struggle. Shifting from one activity to the next — especially if they’re really engaged — might lead to resistance, avoidance, or even meltdowns because stopping feels too abrupt.

For neurodivergent kids, these challenges can be even more noticeable. But struggling with self-control doesn’t mean a child won’t develop these skills — it just means they need extra support, patience, and strategies that work with their brain, not against it. 

Instead of expecting kids to “just stop” certain behaviors, the goal is to help them build self-awareness, practice regulation in ways that feel manageable, and develop the confidence to handle emotions before they spiral.

What Are Some Self-Control Activities for Kids?

We’ve talked about why self-control matters and how to spot the signs when a child needs help with it. But now comes the good part — what can actually help? 

Although there’s no shortage of activities out there, here are the ones to consider.

1. Mindfulness

Let’s be honest — telling a kid to “just calm down” usually backfires. Shutting emotions down doesn’t work, but recognizing them before they take over does. That’s where mindfulness comes in.

It doesn’t have to mean sitting cross-legged in silence. Simple techniques like deep breathing, guided imagery, or even a quick body scan can make a huge impact. One easy trick? Five-Finger Breathing. 

Have your child trace the outline of their hand with a finger from the other, breathing in as they move up a finger and out as they move down. It gives their brain and body something to focus on, slows their breathing, and helps them reset — without making it feel like a chore.

2. Sports

Self-control isn’t just about staying still — it’s about knowing when to move, when to wait, and how to handle frustration without turning into a human firecracker. Sports are a natural way to build self-regulation because they require kids to follow rules, take turns, and keep emotions in check.

Think about it: In soccer, you can’t just grab the ball with your hands because you feel like it. In basketball, you have to hold off on taking a shot until the right moment. And in any competitive sport, losing gracefully is a skill in itself. 

Even kids who struggle with impulse control can benefit from structured movement, where the rules are clear, the stakes feel real (but not overwhelming), and there’s plenty of room to practice patience.

3. Creative Arts 

Big feelings don’t always come with words. That’s why giving kids a creative outlet — whether it’s drawing, painting, sculpting, or making up stories — helps them process emotions without frustration taking over.

Art requires patience, planning, and follow-through — three things that are huge for self-control. You can’t rush a painting or slap together a masterpiece in 10 seconds. 

Whether it’s slow brush strokes or the methodical shaping of clay, creativity helps kids regulate emotions in a way that feels natural. Plus, when they see a finished product that they put effort into, they get a confidence boost that reinforces the idea that slowing down and sticking with something pays off.

4. Problem-Solving Games

Some kids act before they think. Others get stuck in decision loops and struggle to follow through. Either way, problem-solving games help build the mental muscle for thinking ahead, weighing options, and making choices without rushing (or freezing up).

Board games like Chess, Connect Four, and Guess Who teach kids to slow down and think through their next move before acting. Card games like Uno or Go Fish reinforce patience and turn-taking. Cooperative games like Forbidden Island or Pandemic (the board game, not real life) encourage teamwork, strategy, and managing emotions under pressure.

Even classic games like Simon Says and Freeze Dance sneak in self-control practice by making kids pause, listen, and follow instructions instead of just reacting on impulse.

5. Role-Playing and Pretend Play

Kids don’t just need self-control for school or structured activities. They need it in everyday life — when handling conflict, expressing frustration, or waiting their turn in a conversation. Role-playing and pretend play are great ways to help them build those skills in a low-stakes, engaging way.

Dramatic play (like pretending to be a shopkeeper, a teacher, or a chef) teaches kids how to wait their turn, follow the given rules, and manage expectations — all without real-world consequences. Practicing social scenarios (like handling disagreements or asking for help) gives kids a chance to pause, think, and respond before emotions take over.

For kids who struggle with social cues, scripts and structured role-playing can be game-changers. Walking through different situations ahead of time helps them feel more prepared, so they’re less likely to react impulsively when they happen in real life.

6. Video Games 

Not all video games turn kids into screen-zombies. The right ones can actually build patience, decision-making, and emotional regulation — especially when they require strategic thinking, teamwork, or delayed gratification.

• Games like Minecraft, Animal Crossing, and Stardew Valley encourage players to plan ahead, manage resources, and work toward long-term goals instead of just seeking instant rewards.
  
• Puzzle-based games like Portal or The Legend of Zelda push kids to problem-solve under pressure without giving in to frustration.
  
• Cooperative multiplayer games help with communication, teamwork, and handling setbacks when things don’t go as planned.

At Hero Journey Club, we take this idea a step further. We make Minecraft our classroom, using custom-created missions that help kids practice emotional regulation, build social skills, and develop self-awareness — all while having fun. Instead of just playing, kids are learning how to manage frustration, communicate effectively, and navigate challenges in a way that actually transfers to real life. 

7. Cooking and Baking

Nothing tests patience like waiting for cookies to bake. Cooking and baking naturally build self-control because kids have to follow step-by-step directions, measure ingredients carefully, and wait for the finished product — all without rushing ahead or skipping steps.

It’s also a great way to practice delayed gratification. If they scoop out cookie dough and immediately eat it (tempting, but not the goal), they learn the hard way that patience = better results. Not to mention cooking together builds focus, listening skills, and responsibility — and at the end, they get to enjoy the reward of their effort.

8. Journaling and Storytelling

Kids don’t always recognize their own patterns, which is why writing or talking about emotions can be so helpful. Journaling, storytelling, or even drawing emotions out gives kids a chance to pause, reflect, and process experiences without reacting immediately.

Not every kid is going to sit down and write a full-blown journal entry, and that’s okay. It can be as simple as:

• Writing or drawing “what went well today” and “what was hard”
• Creating a comic strip about a challenge they faced
• Dictating a story where a character learns to manage frustration

Even casual conversations at bedtime — “What’s something that made you feel proud today? What’s something you wish had gone differently?” — help kids slow down and think about their responses, which is a huge part of self-control.

A Final Word

And there you have it — eight self-control activities that actually help kids build patience, emotional regulation, and problem-solving skills in ways that make sense. The key isn’t expecting kids to master self-control overnight but giving them the right opportunities to practice it in ways that feel engaging and doable.

One of the best ways to reinforce these skills is through simple, everyday conversations. Instead of focusing on what not to do, try highlighting moments of progress — “I noticed you took a deep breath before answering. That was really thoughtful!” Small encouragements go a long way.

At Hero Journey Club, we take this approach to the next level. By turning video games into spaces for social-emotional learning, we help kids develop real-world self-regulation skills through guided, interactive play. Want to find the right fit for your child? 

Take our 5-minute quiz and discover a personalized game-based learning experience designed just for them.

Sources:

Teaching Your Child Self-Control (for Parents) | Nemours KidsHealth

Impulse Control Disorders: What They Are, Symptoms & Treatment | Cleveland Clinic

What Is Neurodiversity? | Child Mind Institute

Self-regulation of learning in sport practices: An ecological dynamics approach | ScienceDirect